


Sweet Tea

by Reis_Asher



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor's Genitals Are Not Specified (Detroit: Become Human), Developing Relationship, Humor, M/M, Object Insertion, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Canon, Premature Ejaculation, Shameless Smut, Size Kink, Tea, Too Big
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:01:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23067421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reis_Asher/pseuds/Reis_Asher
Summary: Connor needs some assistance from Hank when he gets a large iced tea can stuck inside his genital components. Hank is more than happy to assist...
Relationships: Hank Anderson/Connor
Comments: 5
Kudos: 199





	Sweet Tea

**Author's Note:**

> Feeling a little under the weather today, so enjoy some horny humor starring a certain-branded Iced Tea can while I work on the next chapter of Corruption.
> 
> Notes: I left the genitalia ambiguous. Whether the "hole" is a vagina or an anus is entirely up to you. Whether Connor's dick is a cis dick or a t-dick is all up to your imagination. Do whatever pleases you.

"Hank, I need help…" Hank's heart sank when he heard that old familiar cry coming from the bedroom. Had Connor suffered a malfunction? The last time he'd heard Connor call out to him in desperation, he'd been lying on the Stratford Tower kitchen floor in a puddle of his own thirium, his pump regulator tossed aside like a piece of junk.

Hank burst through the closed door. He didn't know what Connor needed alone time for in his bedroom. He'd figured the android needed a quiet place to go into stasis while he updated.

Instead, he found Connor supine on the bed, completely naked, legs spread, with a large cylindrical metal object shaped like an aluminum beverage can rammed inside his most private parts. Hank licked his lips, his boner immediately twitching to life like a zombie touched by a necromancer.

"It's stuck," Connor pointed out.

Hank cleared his throat. He thought he'd seen it all during his years at the DPD, but nothing could have prepared him for this sight. Connor was spread wide open, his hole tight around the can, and Hank found he couldn't look away. He was no stranger to internet pornography, but he'd never seen anything quite like _this_. "I can see that," he managed in the most deadpan tone he could muster.

"Can you… help me?" Connor asked. His pupils were wider than saucers in the dark. "It is bigger than I anticipated, and my internal lubrication system encountered an error."

Hank forced aside the fog of arousal and kicked his critical thinking into action. "Okay. Uh, hang on a sec." He rooted around in his bedside drawer, hoping Connor couldn't see the large dildos he had in there. He wasn't ready for that conversation, yet—but he might be, soon. He eventually found the lubricant bottle and closed the drawer. "Here." He tossed the bottle to Connor, who caught it.

"Hank, I can't reach. It would be easier if you lubricated the can and pulled it out."

"You want me to touch it? That's a pretty sensitive area, y'know."

"I know." Connor's frustration boiled over, and Hank had to stifle laughter. God, he had to laugh, or his boner was going to take off. He might even do himself the indignity of coming untouched, and wouldn't that be a pain to explain later.

"All right." Hank took a deep breath and approached Connor, pouring a little of the lube onto his hands. He reluctantly reached forward and lubed the can, trying his best not to touch Connor's little dick.

"You need to apply more lube. Further up." Hank turned the bottle over and poured it over his dick. He used his fingers to rub it into Connor, admiring the tight ring of muscle around the can.

Connor gasped. "Hank…"

Hank tugged on the can. "What were you thinking, puttin' something like this up there, huh?"

"I wanted to prep myself… for the possibility of a large future partner."

Hank applied some more lube and the can started to slide out. Hank's mouth was drier than the surface of the Moon as the can popped out into his hand, revealing Connor's stretched, ruined hole. He was glad he was knelt at the end of the bed so Connor couldn't see how rock hard he was. His dick begged to be released from his jeans.

Where his horny brain overcame his common sense, or whether he'd put two and two together to get four, he didn't know and couldn't explain later when Connor asked. All he knew is that his hands seemed to act of their own accord, further lubing up the can, and then he was pushing it back inside Connor's hole.

"Hank, what are you doing?" Connor asked as the can slid in deeper than it had been before. Hank wondered if he could lose it in there. He grabbed the very end of it and pulled it back out as Connor moaned.

"What does it look like?" Hank growled, pressing the can back in, fucking Connor with it. Connor gripped the sheets, threw his head back. His face was scrunched up, his mouth open. "I'm giving you what you want."

Connor's eyes shot open, and Hank knew he'd been right on the money. There was no fooling a detective. 

"Hank, please, fuck me!"

"Oh no, you're not ready for that yet," Hank breathed. "You're not wrong, son. You do have to stretch out this tight little hole if you're ever gonna be ready for me." He moved the ice tea can faster, reaching up with his other hand to caress Connor's dick. Connor threw his head back and screamed loud enough to wake the neighbors, pushing back on the tea can with the contractions of his hole. His LED blinked an urgent red. Hank took the hint and removed the can, admiring Connor's gape. "Fuck," he whispered.

"Do you think I'm big enough to take you now, Hank?" Connor's wide eyes twinkled in the dark, and Hank lost his mind. He came without touching his dick, filling his boxers with warm semen as he leaned against the bed, cursing his luck.

"Maybe next time, Connor." Hank sighed, his sanity slowly returning post-orgasm. "I think we need to have a talk, first. About putting things inside you. Among other stuff." He looked down at the iced tea in his hand. It was still pretty cold. Androids didn't have to worry about temperature ruining the mood, after all. He tugged on the ring pull and cracked it open, putting his lips around the slick rim and raising it to his lips.

Sweetest iced tea he'd ever tasted.


End file.
